Lindsay's Journal
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Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wow, I think I'm gonna throw up. Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, recently renamed the Nobel Popularity Prize, or perhaps the Nobel Best-New-Catchphrase Prize.
I love how the CNN article I read, where this was announced, could not even dredge up a single accomplishment to warrant his receiving this prize. The best they could do was say he has completed diplomatic missions. ... and? isn't that sort of the definition of being a diplomat?
The man hasn't even come close to accomplishing a single one of his campaign promises. In fact, didn't he just refuse to pull troops out of Afghanistan? So much for ending the war.
The only thing he has done -indirectly- was shift the world's perception of America. Except, he did that with his charisma, hot air speeches, and the color of the skin. Not with actions. He speaks well, sure, and man, he's got a great slogan that even my Japanese, poor English-speaking students can sing out on cue, but seriously? He hasn't done anything. When I think of the men that have come before him, that have actually earned this award, it makes me sick.
This must have been a pretty damn bad year for peacekeepers if Obama is the best they can do. The Dalai Lama, he ain't.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
It seems that I've reached the point in my life where my parents recognize me as an adult rather than merely their daughter. There are lots of temporary little scary things like facing paying taxes, rent, and for food, clothing, and endless trips to Blockbuster. However, I've discovered that there are some things that will likely always remain frightening: such as the now apparent comfort with telling sex jokes right in front of me. ... Frankly, I told them, I don't think I'll ever be old enough to listen to that.
Unfortunately, by then they were already onto the "sipping tequilla" (I was winning at cards and I don't think everything was quite sinking in). My father made a comment about threatening to wake my mother early with his drilling (the cabinets). I looked straight at my mother and she looked straight at me and burst out laughing.
We're not even going to go there.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
12:54AM
I have a new favorite movie to add to the list: Gran Torino.
Not exactly the kind of movie you want to see again and again, but the sort that just makes you sit back and think, "Damn..."
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
You know, I had a thought today, about how strange it is to be short. Even though I'm 22, I still feel like a naughty 13 year old when I have to drag out the stool to get something out of the liquor cabinet, and still can't see past the first row of bottles. I think I actually paused for a moment and tried to imagine what it would be like to actually look DOWN at someone during a conversation. How different the world must look from six feet! ... well, it was a moment, okay? don't judge me!
mwhaha, btw, I bought Ed Hardy sunglasses today. I (like to) surprise even myself.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
mm I am a terribly lazy person. It is my greatest fault. However, today, I decided to take up rollerblading again, as I desperately need exercise, and it was a hobby I once much enjoyed. So. Off I went.
First thought: Wow does 5-6 years of abstinence show. Second thought: This seemed a lot more difficult than it should be.
Well, turns out, it WAS more difficult than it should be. Thoroughly pissed off and feeling like I've got wet leaves stuck to my wheels, I finally glare down at my blades to discover that my rubber wheels? have melted clean through, and my brief excursion had chew up the re-cooled rubber to nothing. The wet leaves I had felt was the rubber, literally falling off the plastic baring.
Just to get home, I had to rip off the rest of the rubber by hand until I had haphazardly carved a suitable surface to shove off with.
Did I mention, I hate Texas?
Sunday, May 31, 2009
These last weeks have been a whirlwind. Graduating from college was... anticlimactic. It is strange to think I'm done now though, that I will no longer attend classes, write papers, struggle over ill-deserved grades... Funny how I never thought much about my GPA until those last weeks when I realized I could actually get honors, and then, suddenly, it was important. Made me feel good. Like the disaster that was Occidental College wasn't a complete waste of my time.
It was rather a bad last week. Fought with my roommate in the last days, and, although I apologized, it left a bad taste in my mouth that rather characterizes my entire experience at Oxy. I am so glad to be gone of that place; it was literally making me ill, towards the end.
Los Angeles, I will miss though. I love being a part of that city, as though just living there makes you a part of American culture in a very international way. I'm not sure how to describe it. More realistically, I love that there are so many places to visit, my favorites stores, art, and especially the access to Japanese bands.
I am, however, tired of the lack of seasons. No matter the ribbing it gets me, I am forever a New Jersey girl at heart. I love four seasons and cold weather when I can get it. But LA definitely has a warm spot in my heart.
Speaking of warm, I just returned from Florida, where I haven't been for about 7 years. GODS it was hot. I have no idea how people consider such weather pleasant. Give me 65 degrees and I'm happy as a clam. Wonderfully, I came away totally un-sunburned - a first in my entire life of visting Florida - and actually have a bit of a tan. Of course, being a white thing that I am, it takes a trained eye to actual tell that I am tan, but I certainly notice it. It is very strange to see.
Two months of relaxation. and study. I need to study Japanese so badly it scares me. My textbooks are still on the loose, however. I should get them back tomorrow, then I really must devote myself to study. It's terrifying how quickly one forgets.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
10:26PM
A friend of mine, Erin, and I, went to the Getty Center today. The Center itself is an extraordinary piece of architectural delight in and of itself, and we very much enjoyed basking in its splendor. Yet the museum itself was quite nicer than I expected, in terms of my own reaction. There was a particular section that held very elaborate, mostly 18th century, furniture including clocks, desks, chairs, and cabinets of every variety, and huge tapestries, all of it simply breathtaking. Even the walls of this section were lined with patterned fabric, perhaps silk, made to replicate the old word "wallpaper", which of course, was not paper at all... The paintings as well left an impression on me: All of it reminded warmly of being in Russia. Especially the wallpaper, which I had been enamored with when walking through the residences of Russian aristocracy. Erin loved all the clocks, amazed at their size and intricacy. I wanted very much to take her to the Hermitage, show her the peacock clock that could take up a room...
mmm, is nice to have good memories of Russia.
Monday, May 4, 2009
1:30AM
Ugh. I keep MSN has my homepage. Not exactly the best news source but old habits... anyway, the latest article is on Southern Carolina principle who beats his students. Oh, I'm sorry, performs "corporal punishment". Disgusting. Makes me so angry I want to throw up. Any decent human being wouldn't condone hitting a misbehaving dog for fuck's sake. Abuse is abuse. Any other excuse is bullshit.
Current mood:  nauseated
Thursday, April 30, 2009
12:02PM
Did you know that in just this month alone, April 2009, 3 states have legalize gay marriage? man, fuck California that's awesome.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
...well it seems I'm always getting new lessons about cruelty with a friendly face. Learned to watch for daggers hidden behind smiles. That everything can be used against you by anyone, even who you are. That trust? should be treated rarer than gold. To always rely on yourself.
My life in college has been very educational... just, not quite in the way they advertise in the pamphlets.
Current mood:  sad
Friday, April 10, 2009
Turned in my senior thesis today. Not the best piece of writing, but hell, it's done. Wasn't planning on doing much, maybe going out to dinner. Then I had a rather out of the blue offer for free comedy club tickets. So I went. Before I say anything about that, I have to say. I was already dressed lolita for the day. Pink pink pink, collar, knees socks, heels. Yeah, the works. Let me tell you. I think wearing lolita is the perfect way to weed out assholes from potential conversation pools. I'm not blind. I see guys staring, laughing, then turning to his friends and getting them to do the same, VIOLA. I've officially weeded out five assholes from my dance card and I didn't even have to talk to them. It's a time saver, really.
The club was a lot of fun. Only not so good comedian was also the only woman. She was totally fixated on sex. It's was like "yes, very funny, can we move on now?" anyone can make a sexual joke. doing so for 30 minutes just kinda makes you a loser. other thing... even though the tickets were free, the place had a 2 drink minimum. to put this in perspective, I am lucky if I finish 1 drink. Ultra light weight. I walked out just fine, but man, do I feel it. I don't know why anyone would actually SEEK that feeling. Just glad I wasn't driving. I closed my eyes. Actually, for some reason, staring at my computer is pretty... uncomfortable. I don't know why, it's not moving.
It was fun though. Very fun. Maybe next time I'll just make one of my drinks a water (goddamn, $5 water).
Current mood:  hot
Sunday, March 22, 2009
7:00PM
Things are slowly crawling toward the finish line. A week from tomorrow, the last draft of my senior thesis is due. I still have more to write, but having the end be so near calms me more than anything. I have another paper due that day, which I am working on right now, and then I will be officially done with all paper writing for my college career. Yay! Noticed yesterday that I was finally billed for my class ring, so... hopefully that means they will ship it this next week? Monday would be nice. I waaaant it. Finished my applications for some in-case-I-don't-get-into-the-JET programs. Glad to have that over with. Now I just have to hope that the world's worst advisor actually gives me my letters of rec. tomorrow, so I can mail them. She really is the world's worst advisor. My dog had better personality and advice.
Also, getting back on a restricted diet. Need to do this and stick to it! Of course my ever pleasant roommate says to me in that VOICE of hers, "You know you're just gonna gain all the weight back right?" ... Been attacking the treadmill regularly. Obviously not used to such (for me) intense exercise. Makes me happy with myself, but at the same time, it leaves me feeling tired. I was just sitting here wondering why I felt like I was getting over having the shit beat out of me... and I didn't even go to the gym today!
On top of that, my allergies are being cruel to my eyes. Everyday I wake up more or less crying, and the puffiness stays with me all day. Adds to the "having the shit beat out of me" feeling. Still, knowing what truly horrible allergies can be like, I know this is a walk in the park. I'm grateful for even that small reprieve.
Man, I could use a nap.
Current mood:  tired Current music: Frank Sinatra - Fly me to the Moon
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Murr. I'm not afraid to say it: I am really lonely. Hits me sometimes. Feels like, I've gotten this far without having a relationship... I'm gonna be alone forever. Melodramatic, I know. I'm at kind of a low point right now, worrying about jobs, money, my future, feeling totally unqualified and unprepared.. well, I think the drop in confidence is responsible for this current bout of loneliness. Sometime you just need a warm body to hang onto and keep you grounded. My friends here don't even do that for me, so...
it's the wait that's killing me. waiting for my life to start.
I need to leave Los Angeles. Once I realized that I wasn't going to stay here after graduation... I'm just want to get OUT. I don't want to make any connections here since I'm leaving and since I'm dying to make new friends and find a mate... I want OUT.
On a positive note: I did manage to cure my loneliness this morning. I think I listened to Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon" at least 6x and it really cheered me up for a while. Guess there are only so many times you can listen to Baby Blue Eyes tell you he loves you before you start to feel a little giddy.
Current mood:  lonely Current music: Frank Sinatra
Saturday, March 7, 2009
This morning I was motivated out of my bed by the promise of a hike with my roommate and some of her friends. We headed into the Hollywood hills and set out for the trail. It turned out it was quite a popular spot and dog-friendly as well. I'm not in the worst shape of my life (that title winner goest to my post-Russia period), but make a close second, so it wiped me out pretty good; I'd like nothing better than to take a nap at the moment, if I didn't have to work on my senior thesis. But MAN talk about motivation! There were some seriously good-looking men hoofin that trail. And you know what? I didn't even feel bad looking, since I was there, sweating up a storm, too. lol. of course such a thing would motivate me.
Current mood:  horny / damn tired
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I had my JET interview today! I think it went really well! I answered all their questions (except for one) without tripping up, and they didn't ask me to do anything cruel or awkward (a guy who came out before me said that a different set of judges made him sing "Twinkle twinkle little star") The second thing they asked me was for me to introduce myself in Japanese. I forgot to say "hajimemashite," but I thought I got through it pretty well. When I finished, they all just sort of looked at me and I thought I messed up. Suddenly, the former JET bursts out with this huge smile and said "you sure you're a beginner?" They thought I was lying about being a novice!
Hello, cloud nine, how are you doing today?
One of the judges had been to Sendai and obviously had great fondness. He could hardly wait for me to finish explaining my interest in the city before he had to bubble about it himself! I really hope they send me there! It sounds like such a wonderful city. I'm thinking I'm really thinking I got the job.
Makes me even more nervous! This is so crazy! Can I really do this? Live in Japan? Work? Be on my own? Ahhhh, the anticipation, the nerves, I feel like I will explode out of my skin.
I have to wait until April before I find out. so far away... and yet, not really. My senior thesis is due early April. SO, I might be done with college and have a job in little over a month! I'm scared shitless, you have no idea. Can I do this?
Current mood:  anxious Current music: Gackt
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
soo... apparently, if Obama keeps to his promises, we are gonna
fix the housing crisis, increase lending, create more jobs, squeeze more money out of Congress, raise education standards, insure every American, fix Medicare, cure cancer, bring the troops out of Iraq, increase American international influence, boost the auto industry, cut taxes (for the poor), raises taxes (for the rich)...
I'm sorry, I stopped listening after that. Lemme know when the clapping stops.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I've never been interested in keeping up on current events. I'll be the first one to say that I am generally pretty oblivious. However, in preparing for my JET interview and possible stint in Japan, I've started reading the news everyday, for both the US and Japan. ... it's enough to make me want to stop reading again. everyday it's "more money proposed for bailout", "10,000 jobs lost", "international financial crisis" I mean, for example, I've always been pretty optimistic about getting a job after graduation. I know it won't be THE job (since, even in a good economy, I couldn't be less qualified if I wrote my resume in crayon) but I felt secure that I would be able to find SOMETHING. Yet the news makes me want to crawl into a hole and hibernate for the next two-three years.
I'm pretty sure that babies are still being born, records are still being broken, and man has inevitably gone where no man has gone before. Life goes on, even in hard times. I wish we could focus on that a little. I honestly think it would help this wretched economy.
So hey, tomorrow, go outside and take a deep breath. You're alive! Be happy!
Current mood:  determined
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
ha ha ha... starting learning Kanji finally ha ha ha ha... SO FUCKING HARD.
I'm surprise these languages didn't die they are so friskin' difficult to learn. I sob into your kimono.
Current mood:  exhausted
Friday, January 9, 2009
3:07PM
Would like to melt on top of someone for a little while. Like a cheese sandwich. this cold has really taken it out of me.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
okay my thoughts for tonight because it's xmas now and these are actually xmas related, despite appearances:
ahem.
1)people seem to take insult when I compare them or their children to dogs. So silly.
2)my mother's friend came over the other day. She asked me what I would be getting my degree in. Before I could reply, my grandfather muttered "History. Totally unmarketable skill." ... and I like to say that's the first time he said it, but alas!
ah... the holidays... .... yeah.
Current mood:  giddy
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